it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
