the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize