He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize