How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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