Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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