Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
