you guys were way drunker than both of me
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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