After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I supernannyed him into submission
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
