Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
