Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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