I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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