I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Never joke about your clitoris.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
