I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
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after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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