so that wasnt chicken after all
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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