A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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