She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
i was born a porn star she said
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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