how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My life is pants optional.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
