i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
Even the bartender felt bad for me
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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