Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
The uberlube is also flammable
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
