Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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