When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
