Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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