If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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