Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
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