I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
