you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
