i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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