hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
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