dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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