Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
