i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
