ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
