I wannas sexs uuuuu
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
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