my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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