so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
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