He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
