the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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