do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
A+ Viking dick
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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