she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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