Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
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Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
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It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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