apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
