so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
the raccoons are back...
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