It's like God shit irony all over that family
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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