Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize