I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Randomize
