One girl and one boy is just not enough.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
