Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
