4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
