1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I think I am morally bankrupt
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
