MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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