I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
