yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize
