are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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