I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
