The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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