i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
