Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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