she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway