I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Houston, we have a blender
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?