have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.