she was so not down for the gang bang
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.