We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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