A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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