he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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