i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
