dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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